Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Let's paint friendship bongs
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize