Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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