I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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