Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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