What a fucking waste of an outfit
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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