I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
