she was so not down for the gang bang
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
