part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
