You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
