Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
