Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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