Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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