I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
