she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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