just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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