apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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