we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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