i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
