6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
