Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He did a backflip because drugs
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