you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
