how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
where are my eyebrows?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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