i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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