I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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