just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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