she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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