Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
