i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
