You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
