So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
