yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
