Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
