areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
