just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
