Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
