party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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