you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
