also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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