We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
