i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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