It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
