i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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