I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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