I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
