can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
