I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
