so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
