The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My vagina is officially offended.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
