At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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