just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
