I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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