I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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