the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
